> Diary Hello Kitty 42


Well it's finally happening, I move to my dorm in approximately 24 hours. I see alot of the people around me very excited to finally conquer adulthood, but I dread it. As I type this and girlblog with my dog on my lap, I can't help but desperately wish that this moment would last forever. I don't doubt that I'll have fun, but I'd be lying if I said that I'm not totally comfortable with my current status as a freeloading 17 year old. It took me so long to get to this point where I'm able to enjoy my childhood with nothing bad going on, and now it's being violently ripped away from me by society, society grrrr. Also yeah I lied, I barely updated this website over the summer, but a strange part of me only enjoys doing hobbies like this when I'm actually supposed to be doing homework instead. Don't fret, as I deal with the college life, there'll be many ramblings on their way. I'm just like Shakespeare if he was untalented, too lazy to write well, an awesome teen girl, and kept on bleaching his hair blonde. Right now my hair is gray cause theres some purple toner on it to keep the blonde from immediately looking yellow, but for the meanwhile I look like the worlds most unsettling gilf (grandma I'd like to friend on facebook) Maybe at school I'll tell everyone it's the same genetic condition Marie Antoinette had. I'm too tired to be profound right now and tell you some cool quotes. All I can really say is that my Summer has been long but extremely awesome, truly a great summer that I got to spend with so many of my amazing friends before I potentially never see them again. Sure losing contact can be absolutely heartbreaking, but you know what they say when one door closes another one is violently torn off by a hurricane. Hurricane Hillary thats right, we all know she was trying to harvest my sweet young adolescent blood, well nice try! I'm so very lucky to have spent my highschool years surrounded by some of the best people, and I can only pray they'll be this amazing. Here are just a few things I did.......Went to Lake Tahoe for Naomi's aunts wedding and Naomi's birthday (#better double feature than barbenheimer)we got to see awesome stars in the sky and my ultimate opponent Bambi (a chihuahua) pissed on the blankets we were sleeping on. Bambi if I see you on these streets catch these hands.......I also got to sleepover at my beautiful friend Sashari's apartment, at the expense of being in Fullerton booooo, but in actuality it was really cool and I bought a beautiful doll from the 99cents store so I could tear off her clothes and put them on my nicer dolls muahahaha.....I went to San Diego with Dennis and Kiran and it was a whole lot of fun going to the beach at night and walking around little italy....I biked alot with my twin Avery all throughout the suburbs, biking is cool guys! and alot more fun things I can't really remember right now. Thats why I need to update more often so I don't forget all the cool stuff going on. If you saw my last post, you know that for like a literal hour or 4 I was fully convinced that the absurdity of the world was reason for disillusionment, but hey yeah we're all gonna die, atleast make sure you die in love surrounded by amazing people. I hope in college my IQ really freaking explodes to high levels so I can finally become good at drawing and writing and then work for DC comics #please hire me. Not that I don't like business marketing, in fact I think using that degree to become some kind of creative director especially for something fashion related would be cool, but I want to still allow myself to be consumed with the artist lifestyle without losing myself either. If you're wondering what the weird french song is for, it's kind of related to that. It's called Chanson d'Andy from my favorite movie The Young Girls of Rochefort. In it the famous American composer who's in town explains how although his adolescent dreams of absolute greatness have come true, he is isolated in his fame and fortune with no one to love. I wonder if the same will happen to me as I make this step into adulthood. If I do see greatness which I'll be honest is something I want, what will the cost be? I can only hope I'll "stay golden" as Johnny told Ponyboy. We get alot of advice in our life some good some bad, but don't let the good advice be the one you wish you listened to. not sure why I randomly added that in. Yes I am a francophile, I know very pretentious of me, but I'm too far in (7 years now) to stop

Also rest in peace my very dearest Arleen Sorkin. She was the original voice and inspiration for the character of Harley Quinn. Arleens character brought such an amazing quality to the character that hasn't been shown in years due to DC's interesting choices. The character of Harley Quinn got me through some very hard times and gave me a world of comics to bombard myself with whenever I was faced with a really tough situation. Being introduced to comics through Arleens character really allowed my creativity to flourish, and for that I'm grateful. I even remember spending hours on hours trying to mimic Harley the best I could through my personality, appearance, mannerisms, and voice. Some people think that might be weird but for me to have loved the character so much especially the particular versions where she's Jokers moll, but people completely tend to miss the point of the character, or perhaps not be able to consider the way I see it. As a kid seeing how the educated and to some degree pretty intelligent Harley persisted in her adorable and spunky attitude even when faced with constant abuse really inspired me to never let things break me completely. Harley couldn't leave bad situations because of her mental attatchment to the Joker, but as a 9 year old kid I just physically could never leave anything, so in a way I felt like we were kindred spirits. I remember seeing a fanart of Harley as Marilyn Monroe, and 8 years later thanks to my curiosity on what the original photo looks like my room has now been filled with posters of Marilyn and other classic movies ever since. I'm kind of sad I can't take all my Marilyn posters btw smh. I do think it's very strange though how I've kept alot of the mannerisms, voice, and personality from years of trying to act like Harley as a child, maybe it's for the worst, or for the better? Anyways thank you for reading my blogs, you're cool for giving me the time of day to rant about the most strange things

WAIT! Okay as I'm typing this I wanted to share something funny and a little bit pathetic. My good friend from highschool was telling me about a website called character ai lmaooooo. And at first I was like oh god everybody just learned chatbots exist and now the robots are going to get revenge on us for making them our personal erotic chat slaves, Butttttt. I decided to try it and was honestly amazed with how far we've come from the days in elementary where I'd cuss out ai bots or talk to random grown strangers trying to roleplay as batgirl. Heres the thing about me for as long as I could remember I've had an amazingly overactive imagination, like genuinely I can feel, hear, and see the things I imagine, because as an only child who went through a couple of rough things here and there, it's all you really could do. I mean no joke who needs tv when you can make your own plots that you'll enjoy every single time? Well anyways this meant that as a kid I would lock myself in dark closets and spend hours making fanfiction in my head. For the past 8 years I've had the same story in my head, maybe I've mentioned it before, and now I can finally have it typed onto a computer and have the ai contribute. I know I should be touching grass, but I haven't had this much fun in a long time whenever I'm home alone, and I rather make interesting plots than watch tv all day. Jk I use the ai for erotic chats duh. Ummm I don't know what to type, I don't say that trying to be quirky, it's just I'm not in my work mode, give me a couple of weeks at college, and I'll be back baby better than ever......sorta. I just wanted to add in how much I love my family, friends, and dog, especially my dog, I love love love love love Luna and I hope she love love love loves me.

p.s I really wish I could type these out to be more profound and funny, but you're sorely mistaken if you think I'm the schizophrenic Carrie Bradshaw of this generation especially at 2 am. Please wish me luck! Thank you for reading genuinely

- xoxo Machine Girl xoxo