Can graduation come any sooner? I know I should be relishing in my last days as a highschool student, but I'm so tired of dealing with alot of these people. Thats not to say I'm some amazing saint myself, it's just God I fear for some of these folks once they go into the adult world cause no one will care to put up with their shit. Ofcourse I love my friends and can't get enough of them, however sometimes I get so sick of handling the other people. Some folks could use a real good lesson in keeping their mouth shut and worrying about their own toxic sad lives thats for sure. I'm not thrilled about all the busy work being given either
I'm finally done with all my AP tests, and I'll admit it hasn't been the best of testing seasons so far. I think because I'm already accepted into a college I'm not as driven as I used to be about studying. Out of the 4 I took this year, AP Computer Science Principles by far was the hardest which is extremely ironic considering that I literally coded a website by myself for fun. Just glad it's over
You know what's not over though? People I have worked tooth and nail to get over for the sake of my peace. Ofcourse it's not a boyfriend as we all know I'm too emotionally inept for that, but this specific person who frustrates me immensely leaves my life just to come back again and frustrate me more. I care for them and wish the best, but we're far past my limits for friendship and quite frankly I'm exhausted. I just want to be left alone for the love of God without being guilt tripped or made into somebody's 24/7 therapist. I feel like I can't express my thoughts anymore without stepping on egg shells, hit the road jack....
I've been feeling overall just blue, I'm not sure if I'm slipping into another depressive episode or if my periods just coming up, and any of my ladies will know that it's the ultimate question you'll ask yourself each motnh. I don't think it's a depressive episode because I legit convinced myself I have cured my mind from ADHD Depression and Social Anxiety and somehow it worked???? But if it is I guess I actually have to start taking the medication I hide away #lexaproqueen
I'm excited for summer and college, though I just know that I'm going to miss all my friends and family terribly. However my heart will tear shred and ache as I'm seperated from my beautiful baby daughter Luna, I wish I could sneak her in tbh
I do all my coding and homework on a Chromebook so it's impossible to play any games, but what I'm most upset about is I can't download flashplayer or other windows applications so I can play old versions of Club Penguin and Poptropica. I'm also a major fan of the Sims, honestly since I was 4. I have every game owned from the time my beautiful friend Naomi would let me borrow her laptop, but ofcourse I can't use it forever.
If I can manage to get a job in the summer though hopefully I can buy some nice things
I like to think I won't spend money on stupid things, but it's within my full intent to get this Harley Quinn figure I've wanted since I was 8
This week hasn't been all bad though I got to hang out with my neighbors who I absolutely love and adore, they are the kindest family ever. Annnndd most importantly I got to go to Knotts Berry Farm and spend the love of my life/bestfriends birthday with Sashari the coolest bitch I've known since 2016, happy birthday girl
Everytime I wanna go crazy from all the assholes in the world, all the sick sick people too. I remember how amazing my friends are and how blessed I am to have them

- xoxo Machine Girl xoxo