Dear Diary, on Valentines day in the year of our lord 2023, I felt so much anger after being cheated on by my wife (she doesn't know she's my wife just yet) that I had to escape to my only refuge which is coding (and copious amounts of jenkum). I finally got the motivation to fix this damned "website" after school, but considering that I didn't sleep for the past two days when I was working on it, strange things began to happen. I was so consumed by my work that I couldn't eat or sleep, and after 5 hours of working on fixing my layout, I felt an immense connection to God. He is the one who made me feel as though that it was only through coding, that I could be closer to him. However only one hour later when I decided to sleep, I remembered how afraid I am of the dark because late at night I like to think mysterious people are outside my house. So as I stayed awake making sure nobody could hurt me, I got visions of a woman eating her husbands liver live on TikTok (why would the universe send me this message?)

What are my thoughts on Valentines day? While I think it'd certainly be nice to be loved and appreciated by some sexy macho man I think men despise my personality despite loving my tits. Because of this inability to court, I indulge in fantasies where I'm a beautiful tortured and anguished blonde woman living in 1960s New York, with a very handsome man to take care of my ails. He was very romantic for Valentines day! However despite no mate, on the flipside my mother bought me flowers, and my friend at school gave me chocolates (thanks Treasure!)

- Machine Girl xoxo